Hey Houston: Your weather is horrible and Washington’s got you beat

Note: We’re big fans of the Capital Weather Gang site in Washington D.C. So to mark the beginning of the World Series between the Astros and Nationals, we have agreed to publish their best attempt to trash talk Houston’s weather. In turn, Matt and I got to set the record straight on their site about catastrophe that is Washington’s bullpen, err, weather. Here, then, is why Houston’s weather allegedly sucks. 

Houston: You have a weather problem. From hurricanes, to 500-year floods, and the relentless heat, I am not sure how you stand it. Washington’s weather is clearly superior.

We Washingtonians like to whine about our hellish heat and humidity, which occupies about two months of summer here, from roughly mid-June to mid-August. In your city, it starts to feel gross outside starting in April or May and doesn’t abate until around now.

Let’s examine this year, for example. You’ve already posted 10 days with highs in the 90s and lows in the 70s in October. You’re running your air conditioners full blast when you should be outside in the crisp autumn air picking apples and pumpkins while watching the leaves change.

There’s been a lot of October heat in Houston. (NWS)

Seasons are something you know little about. You have six months of summer and six months of “meh.” Fortunately, you’re about to enter “meh” when you’ll finally be able to step outside again without sweating through your clothes.

As your average high temperatures fall through the 70s and 60s, you’ll be able to boast about some nice days between November and April. But, frankly, these days have little to offer. It will neither be warm enough to be out at the pool nor cold enough to enjoy winter activities like skiing and sledding, sadly foreign to you.

For anyone who likes snow, your city is a nightmare. It’s cute in a pathetic sort of way that a local news organization writes “Snow in Houston happens more than you think” when measurable snow has fallen at Houston Hobby airport just 10 times in the last 89 years, the most being 4.4 inches on Feb. 12, 1960.

Washington isn’t exactly a snow town, but it averages about as much of the white stuff in one winter as you’ve seen since 1930. (Yes, we are aware that 20 inches fell in your city in 1895 during a single storm and, props, that was impressive.)

Now let’s talk about rain. I need to be sensitive here because I feel for the folks who have been flooded repeatedly over the past few years. But the deluges you’ve dealt with are perhaps the most challenging and unsettling aspect of Houston’s climate.

You’re probably painfully aware that five exceptional rain events have inundated your region in the last five years, some  of them, like Harvey and Imelda, considered 500-year rainstorms.

An all-too-familiar scene in Houston. (HCSO)

Likely fueled by climate change and exacerbated by land-use decisions, the situation is getting worse. Since 1970, your average yearly rainfall has climbed between four and eight inches.

It is true that Washington can be rather soggy, and 2018 was our wettest year on record. But the rain we see is but a sprinkle compared to the tropical torrents in your city. Unlike Houston, which can get hit by hurricanes head-on, the tropical storms affecting Washington are typically weaker since they first pass over tens of miles of land.

For having four real seasons and for our tamer breed of heat and rain storms, we’ve got you beat in the weather department, Houston. Trust that our winning ways will carry over to this week’s World Series.

Jason Samenow is The Washington Post’s weather editor.

62 thoughts on “Hey Houston: Your weather is horrible and Washington’s got you beat”

  1. Trash talking is fun, but please everybody play nice — had to remove a few comments from some folks who were going a little too hard.

  4. Thanks, and good luck with the wet weather headed Washington’s way. Current forecast is for an 80% chance of torrential tear drops.

  6. They have a WEATHER EDITOR? THAT’s what’s wrong with Washington! Like, how is his opinion going to change the weather? And it can be argued that inclement weather in 2017 spurred the Astros to World Series victory. Take that!

    • We actually have two seasons : Stinkin’ hot and not-so-sitinkin’-hot.

      That’s why I plan to retire in Tennessee or North Carolina.

  11. Washington.
    For what it costs you to own a house, we have a house and 12 acres of land.
    Next to seasons, there is no such thing as climate change.
    Concrete jungles, which include bike paths, affect where water needs to go. Maybe, cities should stop building and just let the environment be. What a novelty.
    Weather – who cares. It’s Texas. The great Lonestar state.

    • Heather , you are 100% accurate…Our problem isn’t the climate. It’s the overbuilding and the fact Houston was built upon swamp and marsh land , which means you have to use tons of fill just to get above grade elevation…Houston flooded just as bad back in the 30’s,40’s, 50’s and did the DC crowd forget about Hurricane Carla in 1960’s…It was much larger and at the time more damaging than Ike or Harvey….I say a pix of downtown Houston flooded with over 4 ft. of water from the 1940’s…and the population at that time was less than 400,000. And they decided to build two huge reseviours west of then city limits (Atticks/ Barker) to handle the expected flooding. What happened. The ‘powers that be’ decided to allow developers to build houses below the levee’s . Well , Harvey happened and the water breeched the levees and flooding a vast number of houses..The problems with Houston flooding doesn’t take an engineer to figure out…It is like building in a swamp,literally, while D.C. is loaded with too many bureaucrats who need to ‘drained’ to reduce the size and scope of government….and the crime rate , cost of living, and massive traffic jams…Must be one reason very few workers in D.C. actually live in D.C. My wife and I have always lived in the suburbs of Houston and they are even overdeveloping. We are both retired and live in Pearland, which has grown from a small town filled with rice fields, to a major metropolitan city in the area and is projected to grow to over 250,000. The flooding in this area is much worse due to bad drainage systems and too much concrete….not the climate….We’ve adapted to that but when politicians are more concerned about ‘growth’ that quality of life, this is what you are stuck with…

      • DC was also swampland, hence the name for one of the areas in the city called “Foggy Bottom”.

  13. You have gnats all summer long – ugh! I lived for a couple of years in Bethesda during the mid-1950’s. I remember during the winter of 1956-57 measuring 3 foot accumulation of snow in my back yard on three occasions. That is more snow than i ever, ever want to see.

  16. I read your post on their site and it is ever so right. D.C. thinks it is a Southern town and cannot handle snow at all. I grew up in the snow belt and now live down here. They can’t handle 4 seasons.

  20. My last trip to DC involved arriving in a blizzard to bury my dear friend at Arlington. The city was paralyzed. Need I say more?

  24. Do I spy a Non-Houstonian abusing the ‘Houston, we have a problem’ cliche? For shame, Sir!

    Can’t really argue about the weather but at least our cars don’t rust out because of salt on the roads.

  25. Grew up in Houston and lived in DC for eight years after high school. It’s definitely hot and humid in DC in the summer, which was a surprise. The biggest surprise, though, was on Veterans Day 1987. This Texan got caught in a massive snow storm without proper shoes or coat, standing at the Pentagon after buses out to Springfield stopped running. Finally, caught the bus to my aunt’s house in Arlington. It took all night to thaw out!! I quickly learned about Gore-tex. I’ll take Houston “meh” any day!!! lol

  27. I especially agree with “exacerbated by land-use decisions”… Harris County is overdeveloped and the flooding will continue to get worse if changes are not made immediately… As for the last sentence … I don’t think so…. GEAUX ‘STROS

  28. Re: “You should be outside picking apples….” Can you grow apples near Houston. I would think soggy grapefruit and algae are the main crops.

    • Haha! You can grow some apples here, the ones that don’t require many chilling hours. And you can grow so much more, almost all year long, including fantastic grapefruit and other citrus and lots of other veggies and fruit. Our “meh” weather is a gardener’s dream (except for the nightmare of August).

  29. I can’t disagree with their analysis of Houston weather! Like someone commented already, guess we’ll have to settle for being World Series Champs, again.

  30. I have lived in both areas. DC area is hot and humid in summer and freezing in winter with snow and ice. Yuck. I prefer Houston where my winter is mild, I don’t have to deal with snow, and don’t even own a heavy coat. Plus flowers bloom year round- much better than a gray, snow covered winter. Houston and Astros for the win!!

  32. I grew up right outside of DC and now live in Houston. I have to say that Houston has the worse weather. I never really needed to worry in DC about whether an overexcited rainstorm was going to try and come murder me. Case closed, imo.

  34. Lived both places…winter may see averages 12-18 snow days a year which means schools are closed, streets a mess, commutes jump another 2 hours.
    You can keep your shovels D.C, and your combative attitude. I’ll take the warm weather, winning teams and the very NICE people of Houston any day!!

  35. Slow clap to you, sir for originality! You came strong right out of the gate with a terribly clever twist on “Houston, we’ve had a problem”. Keep up the good work there!

    • Thanks for the enjoyable posts! This is definitely content I can get behind. I’m a life-long Astros fan who also happened to go to Rice… if we must be beat by someone (and I hope we mustn’t!), then I’m glad it’s Anthony Rendon and the Nationals.

  37. It’s hot there, because Houston is cooking! If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen!

  38. This was a lot of fun — enjoyed reading the posts on both sites! Enjoyed the fun “trash talk”…let’s have a fun and fair series — GO ASTROS!

  39. Fun times. Great we can slam each other’s WX. There’s plenty of things to poke at in both cities for sure. This said…H-Town is our town and I didn’t move here to enjoy the snow. I like DCs weather about as much as I like their sports teams and politics…GO STROS!!

  40. Houston may be hot and humid, but D.C. has…THE SWAMP!
    So the World Series pits the ENERGY CAPITOL OF THE WORLD against the SWAMP…
    ENTREPRENEURS vs BUREAUCRATS…
    PIONEERS vs POLITICIANS…
    Yes, our weather can suck…I’ll take it!
    LET’S GO ASTROS!!

  41. Ok, for all of you complaining about DC politics, here’s what I tell people who throw those DC complaints out there: You’re complaining about people you (meaning the rest of the nation) send here. DC has no voting representation in Congress and no President has ever been from here. Texas contributes 7% of Congress and has had a number of President’s from there (at least 1 Bush depending on how you count plus Johnson and Eisenhower). You are complaining about who you send here. You want things to change…Vote! Remember DC residents don’t get that right for the House and Senate (reps are non voting).

  42. This is my favorite line right here!!! “You’ve also got this thing called a “wedge,” where cold air can get trapped when it’s supposed to warm up. The only wedges we have in Houston are the lime wedges in our margaritas.” I can’t tell you how hard I laughed at that! Scared the dickens out my cats!!! LOL LOL LOL

  43. I can cool off when it’s hot a lot more easily than I can warm up when it’s freezing…
    Honestly I don’t give a damn about sports.

  44. Let’s see, when it gets a little windy in DC, all the workers are allowed to go home. Wimps! And the Capitol Beltway is a DISASTER during rush hour, even without snow or freezing rain. Go Astros! ! !

  45. “Houston: You have a weather problem.” If that’s an indication of how creative this writing will be I’m gonna stop right there.

  46. Great trash talk. Spot on & made me chuckle throughout. Hope you do the same when the ‘stros crush you. Happy fall foliage!

  47. Sure, DC gets snow, but no one there knows how to drive in it. Quarter of an inch in the forecast, and the federal workers are sent home by 3 pm. When I lived in Silver Spring, MD, there was a 4 inch storm, and as I was driving to work on a plowed rowed, it was the only time in my life I’ve ever seen an SUV heading south on a divided highway give up and do a U-turn, heading NORTH in the SOUTHBOUND LANES, rather than just driving slowly to its actual destination. 😛

  49. So, if the weather in DC is so wonderful, why don’t we hear lots of retired folks saying “Well, now that I’m not confined by my job any more, I think I’ll move up north” ?

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